"Rare" n00b? Does Stalker N00b count too?

Kiyo mentioned the annoying arse called Ultimate Pheonix and I'd like to add something else about him. I was crewing with two peeps who were in a crew with him before they got with me. I'll call them Mewt and Chels (since that what their called anyways). Mewt and I were outside chilling after finishing a run when Pheonix came out and tried to recruit Mewt again. This pissed Mewt off and he then went into a calm rage on the arse. 

What is a calm rage, you ask? Picture an angel of death describing every one of your sins and why it's your time to die and burn in Hell. Now pretend that angel sounds Anthony Hopkins from Silence of the Lambs. Now imagine him standing like Batman over a crime scene, just before he swoops in and kicks ass. You got all that? Add on over 9000% anger and you have what Mewt's calm rage was like. 

I swear on everything sacred, the way Mewt ripped into Pheonix was almost poetic. I shed a little tear at his chilling denouncement. I wanted to set him up on a throne and crown him the Dark Lord. I think I fell a little in love with him. Or at least his unbridled, majestic hatred. (Good God, I need help) 

I won't go into graphic details about it like I usually do (since this post isn't actually about Ultimate Pheonix) but suffice to say that with Chels also ripping the doucher a new one and him annoying the piss out of everyone by repeatedly inviting them even after they refused him several times, no one was in any doubt about how much of a punk he was. It ended with the whole area finding out about how pathetically n00by Pheonix was and he was shunned out. How I love the smell of bitchy karma at the end of the day.

Onto the true point of this post! (I know I ramble. Shut up >.< ) Connie has a stalker. Okay, maybe not a real stalker but the dude is annoying as Hell. Should I say the name? (notice I say the instead of his or her. This is because I still don't know if it's a boy or girl) WTF. Why not? It's not like s/he can do anything to me. WaltDisneyHearts..........I think that's it. We only ever refer to it as Walty. (Okay forget this gender confusion thing. I'm calling it a him.)

The first time I was in a crew with Walty was absolutely my own fault. I sent the invitation because he seemed to be getting along with Connie and we wanted to get a crew and get our loot already. Eventually, I began realizing that I basically shot myself in the foot with a slow acting poison. He was ALWAYS talking. I know some my roll their eyes at me since I rant and rave but at least my junk is a bit interesting to read. This guy was narrating everything he was doing like he was in some nature documentary or something.

An ordinary statement made by me when I feel talkative: "Wanna hear a joke about my peen? Nvm it's too long! ;P"

An ordinary statement made by Walty at any time: "I'll back up healer. Should I heal now? Do you want me to help heal? I'm still back up right? /Hopes we get lots of loot"

And this is where I stab myself in the thigh with a pointy pencil for bringing this idiocy onto myself. It's not that he wanted to be helpful, I'd appreciate that, it's that he completely ignored me, acts like I wasn't just hauling ass and keeping everyone alive, directed all his questions at Connie, and then stuck his nose in the air and said he's leaving because there's too much drama for him. 

F*ck you. I kicked him before he could even suicide and go to null. And to make himself look even more like an ass, he IM'd Connie and whined at her about us. CONNIE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. You blind, annoying son of a nutcracker. (trying to cut back on the swearing since today I accidentally shouted "fuck" in front of a customer =.=') Connie only talks to you since she's concerned that you'll throw a bitch-fit and get ppl to not let her join their crews. (Connie is usually more no bullshit that me but apparently this guy knows a lot of ppl in-game) Two middle fingers in the air straight at you, douche-bag, if you ever read this.

~Poe

I found another "rare" noob.

HELLO PEEPZ. IT'S ME KIYO.

I know, it's been a long time. I'll won't be able to come here as often as well.
Anyway, I was in a crew yesterday with CL10's mostly and only 2 CL11's.
*coughs* So I was given the crown by this CL10 dude just because I volunteered to do the buff checking. Weird. But okay. Fine by me. Not like I have any problems leading.
And as I was assigning the buffs, I told the CL10 dude to get a keen.

"Can you get keen pls?"

"uh..sorry I don't have keen. I have iron only."

"Oh. Okay, go switch with someone who has iron and let them take keen."

"okay."

And I was checking the buffs, he was like

"let's go, they're waiting, they're gonna die".

And my other members who are inside were like

"who's gonna die? ==""

I kept quiet 'cuz I noticed that his noob aura is coming out. I ignored him and double check the buffs. BUT when I reached that fella's buffs, I noticed that he didn't CHANGE his buffs yet.

"Hey, did you take the buffs that I assigned?"

He was like "let's go!" and he went in. I tried not to get pissed so easily. Then I asked the other members

"Is my crew pane glitching or he didn't change his buffs yet?"

"he didn't change his buffs! he's still having that keen buff"

Okay, my angry meter has gone up to 30%.

So I told him to get it. BUT HE DID NOT. IN FACT, HE IGNORED ME! Then I realized that he doesn't have any MEAT either. He died instantly in the first screen.

"Dude, where's your meat?"

"It's only CL5."

"So? Go upgrade it or ring swap."

"I already swapped it with iron just now."

"..."

HE SWAPPED IT AND YET HE WOULDN'T WANNA GET IT. WHAT THE FUUU?!
In the end, he took the iron along with him when he nulled. Shit man.

My members were like "KICK HIM KIYO!"
then I said "hurhur. sorry, but I'm gonna go shower now." xD

IF YOU SEE THE NAME ULTIMATE PHEONIX (yes, not phoenix BUT pheonix) get his ass screwed.

ღ kiyo ღ

Are you shitting with me?

It's super irritating when someone asks for help, you give them some advice, and then they throw a bitch-fit when they don't like the answer. Why bother asking anything at all?

I was goofing off in the forums when I saw a thread ..... I'll say "petitioning" for some help. The crew I was with was waiting for someone to come back from BRB so I figured I'd do a good deed and help. So I popped in to see if I could to anything for her.

The girl was asking for ppl to come join her and another person in the Otami Ruins to farm for Tiny Terrors. The Otami Ruins has never had much traffic even before DMS sucked up all the players craving new challenges. There are days when no one goes into that area at all. It's been two years since I even thought about it.

So, what do I, the desirous to be helpful Poe, do? I tell her straight up the facts of it: She's going to have a tough time finding ppl since it's not a popular spot. I was not the only one who told her this. And clearly we didn't tell her to be mean. If that's mean, I've been evil my whole life and never knew it.

If I wanted to be outright rude and mean to her, I'd tell her I'd join her, never show up, make a thread about how she was being a pathetic and gullible nOOb, and get all my friends to make fun of her with me. Even though she's convinced herself that the ppl that posted in her thread are "rude" and posted "stuff about how everyone hates TT farming," I still consider myself a polite(ish) and well-meaning person.

Here's my favourite part about her argument: "If you didn't want to crew, then don't post." Sweetie, If no one posts when you make the thread because they don't want to join you, then the thread will be knocked off the front page and then ppl who might've wanted to play with you won't even know you or your need of a crew existed.

Eat shit and die. That's all I got left to say to her. And I would've said it straight to her instead of blogging about it but she upped up her bitch-fit and blocked me as well. And all I did was point out the facts.

~Poe

Elitists, Haters, and Taking Sides

As I type this, I'm reading a thread called Mikeswrath007 I'M CALLING YOU OUT!!!! by a much loved and hated player called Lux Fortuna, one of the so-called "elitists" of GaiaOnline's zOMG! game. (You see that? I'm totally name-dropping controversial ppl now ;P) I'm not sure who the person he's talking about is or if Lux actually has a problem with the person (maybe he's just kidding) but I've read enough so far to figure out that this Mikeswrath007 has written a satirical thread in which he defeats Lux in a round of PvP. (and right there tells us that the story is just for shits and giggles since zOMG! doesn't have a PvP function).

As I'm reading this thread, I keep finding comments from either Lux's friends poking fun and going with the joke or depreciating comments from people that apparently can't stand being in the same circuits of cyberspace with Lux. It's at this point that I clicked open this page and started thinking to myself. What in the world could these "elitist" people have done to get so much negative and positive feedback? Forget the story starring Lux; why does anything concerning him and his friends seem to create another world war every single time?

I'm not an active participant in this thing that's starting to feel like another Coca-cola Vs Pepsi War so I'd only recognize a few names. I do remember that I crew'd with one of them once before and he/she (I couldn't tell which) was nice enough. I feel kinda bad since I can't remember the name and I'd like to say that this particular person didn't seem like an "elitlist" to me.

There's one other that get's about the same reaction as Lux and that is Aseres. I have heard horror stories about her. I have also heard practically Psalms written exalting her praises. What am I supposed to think? This is the part that starts getting really confusing because some of my friends hate her guts and I don't have any personal experience with her to refute the hate. Isn't that so annoying? When you feel almost obligated to dislike someone because your friends dislike them. So, while I'm not planning on saying anything bad about these ppl, I'm going to have to admit that I'm most likely going to expect the worse if I ever talk to them.

This leads me to the next point: Are they really as bad/good as anyone makes them out to be? Since a good amount of ppl have been taking sides on the matter, exaggerations would not be unthinkable. I've read some of the "bragging" threads and the threads Lux and the rest have made to help the zOMG! community better understand the game. Yes, bragging is annoying and helping ppl is super but since they supposedly do both, doesn't it sorta balance out and make them regular players? Or am I just over-thinking this?

~Poe

putojančio pažastų vėžliai Parašiutizmas mano kojinių stalčių, jums dušą.

Hey, ho, it's Poe! (/*◕ω◕)/*  *shakes pompoms*
Long time, no rageface, guys! How ya been? Did ya'll get cool Christmas presents? Are those New Year's resolutions already down the drain?\


Today's kick-and-scream is not limited to the little world of GaiaOnline's zOMG! game. Today, it's about how ppl talk/chat/squiggle in ways that makes me want to falcon punch a Ballchinian right in the throat.


It happens everywhere! You could be casually derping around in your favourite forum, reading about new discoveries or funny crew stories and then BAM:


(illiterate fag): " LOL bro meh last looser krew was woser then ur!!121!!!! we pwn'in n (insert low-level area here) & den demz (insert pathetically easy monster here) wore kkiln us butt eye staid alife wile teh llozehs n da krew got dayz'd BWAABAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!! :'D 1 gurl try'd 2 revive but I let de munstores keel her cuz she tolt meh to shups n figt. Fack dem! I rooolz.


And you're all like /headdeskheaddeskheaddesk WHY WON'T THIS DESK KILL ME!?
(PS. if you could read that, you deserve a medal since I had to turn my brain inside-out and upside-down to type like that) The n00by story aside, how does anyone even come up with that way of spelling words? It takes longer to spell the words in-correctly than it does to just do it right. I get abbreviations, those are fine, but meh for my or me doesn't even make sense since it's spelled longer than the words it's replacing.


I can't stand this kind of type unless it's for trolling with your friends and you know it's not srs. But at the very least, I can cipher out (through hi-tech decoding devices and FBI funded translation machines) what the hell the guy is trying to say. Even worse than this (even with proper spelling) is the type of chatting that lacks any kind of punctuation, sentence format and defies space and gravity or thought.


I mean srsly, WTF is THIS?:


"Hey guys? Have you ever gone to the question of doubt that maybe sometimes down the lane of upstairs so hard that you when up to the downtown of sleeping on the couch you hiccuped on the Australia bunion hahahahaha everyone has a turtle there why?"


And then you sit there with your head cocked to one side like an interested puppy and wonder how much of whatever drug or alcohol that idiot has had.


But the thing that ticks me off the very most is when someone starts yapping at me in another language, particularly Japanese. I don't mean to say that I'll throw a bitch-fit if I see someone using a different language, that's fine, knock yourself out, have a huge foreign language party. I mean like when some ........(restraining myself here)....person comes at me and we end up doing something like this:


(them): "Ahahaha, OHAYO desu!"


(me): "um what?"


(them): "occasionally in the evening I Kono gēmu o purei while listening to the latest Ongaku o from Malta! :D"


(me): "You do what listening to what from where?"


(them): "Yuu such a baka >:O Subete no kūruna hitobito wa watashi no itte iru koto ga shitte irudarou."

(me): "You know what, asshole? Eat shit and die. :/ "

I speak-em dat Engrish, yo. Try it out sometimes; all the cool kids are doing it.


 Why bother talking to someone in a language that you don't really know to purposely irritate someone who doesn't understand? I speak Thai; you won't see me going to South Dakota and babbling at someone in Thai when I know they won't understand me. It doesn't impress ppl nor does it make you look intelligent.


~Poe