Ya don't have experience in GR?! Then SHUT IT!

Okay, it's me again! I always forget to post up the news bout the noobs I've met. Anyway, this time, it's a dude who's a CL 12 and yet he's supreme nooby. I forgot what's his name. I think it was...Dustin something something. He joined us and there's this NF in the 2nd GR. We didn't get to buff each other up once we enter 'cuz the NF saw us and we were all like being ass raped by NF.

So then, second round try!

We all awaken except that dustin dude. Another member didnt awaken 'cuz she's alive and the NF didn't touch her so it was fine. So fine, we didn't care about him. I told him to awaken so we can buff each other up in the room before and he was arguing about how we all can buff each other in the room with the NF. We were like, "fuuu him." and buffed in the room before.

Now, back to the action mode. We attack while some people kite. We're still attacking and that dude was like "we should do the aggro way like in yellow maze."

and I was like "dude, the NF in GR is different from the ones in yellow maze. They don't stay there and let you attack them."

and he was like "we should try it out!!"

we were doing pretty well....and then...

He was running around. He cursed us for not doing the aggro way. He revived right in front of the NF when he died. He keep yapping bout how we should listen to him.


-slow mo- everything ended up in a disaster.

Thanks to Mr. Dustin. Help me slap him when you see him next time.

ღ kiyo ღ

The closest thing you'll get to an apology

It has come to my attention that the losers that are mentioned here actually have some friends. Even more shocking is that some of their friends are my friends as well. Kinda strange how that works. >.>


In light of this startling discovery, I'd like to say to those friends of mine (who are perfectly entitled to have lapses into poor character judgement), no, I don't have anything against you and neither do Connie or Kiyo for all I know. It's true that maybe I just got off on the wrong foot with that friend of yours that I'd like to club over the head with a spiked leg of lamb, but it's sorta their own fault since they took that wrong footing, made it fall to the ground like a drunk guy with an inner-ear infection, and then basically just kicked it in the crotch with a steel-toed boot when it was down.


I try to like everyone I come into contact with. I really do. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt the first few times they mess-up epically or say stupid/rude/elitist/irritating things or seem to not understand the concept of any written language, let alone English. NO ONE CAN SAY I DON'T MAKE AN EFFORT TO LIKE EVERYONE. But some people refuse to be liked or even tolerated.


And so, to finally get to the point I was trying to make, just because I hate the thought of someone and you happen to be their friend, that doesn't mean I hate (or would hate if we haven't met yet) you. You quite possibly are one of my favourite people. We could be the best of cuddle buddies with inside jokes and secret passwords and made-up holidays and synchronized avatars and all that good stuff. 


~Poe 

Are you FUCKING SRS???

Just got out of a TERRIBLE crew. To be fair, only three sucked  and two of those three were new players so they were excused. But holy fuck, that other one whore needs to STFU, GTFO, and GET HER DAMNED AND MENTALLY ILL HEAD OUT OF HER UGLY, CHEAP SLUT ASS *foams at the mouth and has a fit*
 (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ 


WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH? IDGAF  if your precious CL is so fucking high and above us all! Who died and gave you the right to talk trash to all if us, get us all killed, and then suddenly leave like a ass-fucked, pathetic hooker who leaves before her greasy client wakes up in the morning? HOW DARE YOU EVEN COME WITHIN MY GENERAL CYBERSPACE VICINITY?!?!?!


*rages on for several hours more*  (╬ ಠ益ಠ)


Shall I say her username? Should I curse my friends and acquaintances with even the knowledge of her name?  I might as well since Peary already knows who I'm talking about. Do ya'll want to know? Do you really wanna know?


Mistress Spyder. There, I said it. If I never have to see her avatar ever again, it will be too God-damned soon. 


method of demise:


-strapped to a dissection table at an insane asylum like the ones that had back in Victorian Era for crazy women.


-Suddenly her surgeons go blind but continue the operation anyways.


-They slice open her belly while she's still awake and start removing organs.


-Then they sew her back up, organs still removed and put her in a dirty, rat-infested cell.


-Infections set in but none of the doctors try to help her.


-Maggots start feasting on her rotten wounds.


-She's left to rot and her corpse is eaten by cockroaches several weeks later.


-No one removes the bones


I can't think straight right now so I can't think of anything worse.


Always bitter and harsh


~Poe

Derp. You really suck.

Hi guys! It's me, Kiyo! -coughs- I just remembered that I have to update you guys about this partially noob I met....two days ago or something. Anyway, there's this dude called "Takeda Ninja" who send me an invitation to join his crew and back then, I just accepted it without caring who the leader is. I thought the name "Takeda Ninja" sounds kinda familiar and then it struck me. He was that dude who kept on spamming the chatbox by shouting "CREW ME, CREW ME, CREW ME" a few weeks ago. And he was the same dude that Poe dislikes the most.

But then, I can't judge a person without knowing them more. Yes, he did gave me a bad impression by spamming the chatbox and acting like a noob, so I thought that "Hey, maybe I should check out and see what kind of person this dude is". And so, I joined him.

Analysis 1: "Don't suppress, it's for green rooooom!!"
Okay, my first analysis. I just entered the DMP and everyone's like arguing about CL suppressing. Apparently the leader (a.k.a Takeda Ninja) doesn't want us to suppress our CL, saying that "it's for green room". Yes, I know we mustn't suppress our CL for GR but helloooo?! You'll die when you enter GR first time anyway. So why not suppress, get orbs, die and then unsuppressed it in the null later?! The conclusion? Everyone suppressed, ignoring his "order".

Analysis 2: "Why the fuuuuu are you speeding?!"
The leader loves to speed. He would speed all the way, without regaining his stamina, without letting us regain our stamina and of course, without letting us heal ourselves. I do encourage speeding. Definitely. Only when you wanna rush to the GR's but COME ON!!! Even if you wanna speed, at least let us take a breather for a little while! You wanna aggro everything and yet you wouldn't let us REST even a tiny little bit! See, if you don't let us rest, how on earth can we heal other people? Let alone CAT and TAPE?! Derp! My stamina was going "HAA HAA HAA" ERGH.

Analysis 3: "When someone says BRB, just WAIT for THEM!!"
The situation has gotten worse in every second, every minute and every screen. I was watching a crew with horrifying downfall. Usually, if someone is on a brb, which means they're gone for a while so what do you guys do? YOU WAIT FOR THEM. You don't act all stupid and says "GO" and leave your crew member behind. And yes, that's what "TN" did. He said "GO" and left for the next screen. And what can we do? We have to follow as well! Just to save his stupid ass. *rolls eyes*

I've gotta say, he really is as bad as everyone says. I don't even know how he got to a CL 11+ through all those...situations. I bet other people had it worse with him. I don't even wanna get involve with him ANYMORE. I'm sick of it. It's irritating as well. I don't want a crew member like that. If he invited you to be in his crew, DECLINED IT!

ღ kiyo ღ

"You're such a girl"

'Ello, mates. This is more of an informational post/petition for help thing than the usual raging spiels. Actually, I don't think there well be any anger this time around since........no one has pissed me off today ---shocking, I know.

So I was meebo-ing our friend Gravy and he was telling me how I'm not very graphic with my deaths. Okay, I can understand that since, despite my easily ruffled nature, I'm not excessively diabolical and cruel. I'm reading a really gory book series right now but......yeah, I wouldn't want anyone to die in those ways even if they punched my little sister.

The point I'm trying to get across right now is I NEED SOME GOOD AND HORRIBLE IDEAS ABOUT HOW SOMEONE SHOULD DIE. Yes, that's right, I'm asking for help since my usual methods of demise are relatively tamed and girlish (like I am. Why are you looking at me like that? e.e)


If anyone is interested in giving me a new and brilliantly clever way to torture, PM me on my Gaia or leave a comment on my profile page or at the bottom of this post. My username is PPoe and sorry if I got you're hopes up but I don't accept random friend requests.

Ciao, my little baskets of exotic fruits!

~Poe

Hello? Can you hear me?

Ish me again, you're lovable and hated Poe. In fact, it's because that I am so obviously hated is the topic of my rant today. This one's gunna be an indisputable ESSAY because I'm not only pissed, I'm.....offended. 


So yesterday I was goofing around in Bill's Ranch, creeping on the convos of the DMS crews when I get recruited by a sort of friend. We had crewed together before and I figured him to be a decent sort so I accepted. He had an extra empty spot so I said he should recruit Kiyo since she was and high-leveled and eager to leave the crew she was in since her leader was one of the n00bs I've talked about before, Takeda Ninja. I guess maybe he didn't see the comment until it was too late cuz he ended up getting this low-level hoochacha who's never run DMS before. I figured, okay, he's to nice to kick her, so maybe we could get Kiyo later. No prob. Shit happens. 


Right now I'm just giving the background story; I haven't got to the part that grievously ticked me off yet.


So, then we get inside the caves and we're buffing, when Kiyo whispered to me about how her crew was doing. (I won't tell you about it since, it's HER story and I'd twist what actually happens with my cyncism) She was a bit concerned cuz the leading n00b was starting to show his n00bi-ness and I was mentally holding her hand when some other hoochacha in my crew started having a go at me.


"PPoe are you there? Buffs."


Ummm, first of all, I was obviously raging first, second, no one was finished buffing yet so she couldn't rage at me for being slow, and third......Just shut up, hooch. You're not lead, you're not done with buffs yourself, and.....you're ugly. (That last part was just prejudice since I dislike her but still >.>)


Since, I like to think of myself as a relatively patient person, I simmered instead of talking back. She's never crewed with me before, I thought to myself, she has every right to be wary of my likeliness of being a closet n00b.


Then we entered the first cave and started our attack. La-dee-dah, whatever. All of a sudden I heard, "***?(that's my name but I have it starred out since ya'll are creepers that might stalk me) Could you go get me some water?"


That was my mum, the ever cheerful slave-driver, telling me to do something. And since I didn't want to sit through a 30 minute lecture of why I should drop everything I'm doing the second she says anything and bend to her damned will, I got up immediately and ran to get it done. If I didn't I would get a "Why are you still clicking away on that computer and not doing what I told you to?"


Normally, a crew will realize something has happened on my side of the internet if I suddenly stop moving after attacking and healing as fast as a could. But not this one. No, when I sat back down, I saw a "Is PPoe doing anything? Poe, work."


Oh, I'm sorry, that I have some resemblance of a life beyond computer games, please let me grovel and beg for mercy. (I'll raise my hand just in case you can't tell when I'm being sarcastic. Right now my sarcasm hand is touching a cloud.)


All the same, I said, "My mum told me to do something. Sorry about that." THERE! Humble! Complacent! Understanding! And what did I get in return? 


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I was ignored.


Those bastards didn't even acknowledge my presence.


It was quiet for a while since my usual cheery conversational flow was corked by the outright hostile atmosphere.


So it was all quiet for a while and we moved into the next room. Once again I heard, "***! Help me find my email!'


I gave my mum a good tongue lashing but did ended up helping her again. I told the crew that was going to brb since my mum wanted something again. Can you guess the comments I got when I got back?


"She's leeching!"


"Poe, do some actual work."


"Just kick her already."


they completely disregarded all the healing and catting I had done and called me a mother-fluffing leech. They told my friend to kick me. The acted like a was some scrub who didn't know what she was doing and was acting like a retard.


I left faster than you could say "Three bitches in a corner sucking off a senile old geezer." OOOoooooohh, I was mad. I was even pissed enough to delete my supposed friend as well. The little dick, didn't say anything in my defense.


I sat under a tree and sulked for over and hour. At that moment I hated everything and everyone, including myself. Damned little bish, made me feel like I was back in elementary school and getting bullied again.


I don't remember your name, bish. But you are now the first on my hitlist.


Method of demise:


-Kidnapped by a pedophile what has a fetish for mouthy whores.


-Locked in the trunk of a car for two days with rats.


-Locked in the cupboard under the sink for two days.


-poisoned by cleaning supplies after getting raped by a mastiff.


Screw you bish. If I ever see you again and find out your name.......you just better hope I don't


~Poe

Ehhhhh I talk a lot.

Poe again! I've had several cases of n00b-ery over the past few days but because I jot them down the moment they happened, I forgot what happened. Thanks, brain, you really pull your own weight. Why do you keep remembering that time in elementary school when I naively told my mum a sex joke (it's okay, she didn't get it so I didn't get in trouble) but not the things I actually want to remember? Screw you and the monkey you rode in on.


Annnnnnyyy ways.


I sort of realized a few hours ago that I tend to ramble on and on.....and on when I describe anything. I look back on previous post I made to this blog and hang it all if not everyone of them are practically essays. I need a mute button. Or a limit to the amount of words I can use in a post.


Also, I make weird metaphors. If I ever say something that makes you go "Whhhhaaaaaaaat? What's this biotch been smoking and what is she trying to say?" please know that I did not intentionally do so. The fact that I sometimes confuse people and make no sense at all makes me madder than a bare-foot centipede standing on a hot rock.


In contradiction to my blathering self, you may have noticed that Connie has yet to say anything. I put the blame on myself since I actually have yet to get her email and invite her to be an author of the blog. Once I finally get off my ass and get it done, hopefully you'll be reading some deliciously cruel stories by Connie. We're like the Powerpuff Girls without the superpowers, being sisters, or being anything like the ppg. Connie's the mean one (in a cool way, not in a horrible way), Kiyo is the sweet one, and I'm the awesome one. (say awesome only because I have no other redeeming qualities)


I hope this post was shorter than my last spiel.


~ Poe


P.S. I'm going to start high-lighting my posts because I am an attention-whore. t(-_-t)  
Pfffft. No, actually I'm going to high-light mine so you can more easily tell if it's me or Kiyo or Connie posting. Cut down the confusion a smidgen. 

No rings, No playing.

So, it's me again. Kiyo desu. I met another n00b a few days ago, and didn't have the time to post up my "story". Anyway, I was crewing with a dev (developer...my first time! >w<) and he kinda crewed those CL 10 newbies (now that I remember, I think this happened last saturday or sunday) and he said that he wanna help them lead around DMS. So I just agreed, not that I really care. Our first round was kinda like...failed. Too many people died, etc.

Anyway, while we were trying to crew some people, there's this dude who joined our crew, who of course acts like a major noobie. Our leader (which is the dev) asked him to bring the rings that we're missing, but guess what?! He said that he sold most of the rings that we told him to bring. Then he said, he can buy them back. So we said okay and we waited for him. But he was taking so damn long, so the leader asked him if he got those rings we wanted.

Guess what? He suddenly left, and shout that our crew sucked. WTF?! Dude! We just asked him to bring the rings that we wanted! If you don't have the rings to play DMS, so why join a crew?! Shit, it makes me angry thinking about it.

Anyway, he came back to the spot in BR and went straight to the dev's face, shouting weird things at him. The dev got pissed and said that he's a dev and works for Gaia. Apparently the noob wouldn't wanna believe him so I was kinda standing next to the dev so I said "what the hell's your problem?!, Get the FUUUUU off!" And the noobie did.

He was like "Yes ma'am. Don't bite me." wth. D: PSSH. Talk about NOOBS.
If you're someone who's a CL 10 but yet most of your rings aren't leveled up, don't bother playing DMS, even if you have the amulet or the gem. It's a waste of a time for you, and for everyone else.

So be smart and level up all your rings to CL10, also don't salvage all the rings, and you'll get a spot to DMS. Think smart, Act Smart and Play Smart.

ღ kiyo ღ

"I'm cool, you suck."

Well *coughs* I'm Kiyo and this time, I'll be the one posting stuffs 'bout this "derp" dude I've met while DMS-ing. It started like this actually. My previous crew leader, who was leading the crew got dc'ed (disconnected) and her crown was thrown to me automatically and so, I decided to recruit other people as well since some of our crew members left and went offline.

I happened to recruit this "dude" (the name is roverbend- something something.) and he was acting a bit cocky. I couldn't care less and then, I saw my crew leader, so I recruit her back.
And while we were farming, this derp dude kept on charging towards the monsters, trying to solo them all by himself.

Now I hate n00bs who likes to act like they're real tough. I don't care if you wanna solo those monsters if your CL is higher than the monster's CL. But this derp dude's CL is lower than the monster's and yet he wanna act like a hero.

When he reached the 2nd screen in the first area, he was practically trying to kill all the monsters one by one without resting. He got all my crew members dazed and he still wanna say that my crew sucked. I would have slapped him if my hands could go through the laptop screen. Seriously.

If you wanna crew with me, or maybe Poe and Connie, stop acting like you're a hero or acting all high and mighty and being cocky. If you wanna solo, fine. Do it if your CL is higher than the monsters. Otherwise, screw yourself and go do the soloing without a crew.

ღ kiyo ღ

Keep that cool

Okay, it's been a few days. On top of my procrastinating nature, it was my 18th birthday on the 22nd.

 *cue ballons, streamers, and annoying party favors*

So, yeah. Finally legal. I can watch R-rated movies now (in theory. Mum is is still a over-conservative stickler), I could technically go buy some cigs....technically but I'd still get in trouble if I did. So much for being an adult. >.>

I have two cases of n00b-ery and ass-hat-ary to report today. One was from a few days ago and the other was from yesterday.....or today if you're in the Western hemisphere. I'm in Thailand so it's already tomorrow for me. (greetings from the future ;3) I'm not really going to say anything about toughcarlos since he was just your average retard that couldn't follow instructions but Lizzie-ho was a special kind of idiot.

Ah yes, Littleliz345. Or something like that. Remember that this was a few days ago. Connie, and three other cool people, the annoying ho, and I were starting a new run in DMS. To buff up properly, we have to reach level 4 rage for every rings. That takes some time to achieve when you're not actually playing yet and we were chatting while we were raging. For some reason, Lizzie-ho (as I like to call her in my head) refused to talk to any of us even when we tried to include her in the rage convo and sat near the entrance to the first cave in sulky silence.

I'll be the first to admit that I talk a lot when I have a good crowd of friends and cool people to chat with. But I don't just talk nonsense while doing nothing useful. For some reason, it takes me a bit longer than anyone else to rage the same way as it takes a lot more attacks to get my stamina down. While I was finishing up the last ring I needed to rage, Lizzie-ho got in my face for talking while raging.

"PPoe.(that's my username officially even though everyone calls me Poe. It's like someone calling you Isabella even though you prefer to be called my your nickname Bella), can we get started already?"

I was like, excuse me? I already said when we first entered the caves that I take a bit longer to rage for some reason and everyone else said it was fine. I had just finished my last ring before she said that so it wasn't because we were sitting doing nothing.

So were charged the room and took out some vamps really quickly. It was a strong crew and I was the main aggro so we killed them off easily and I took the brunt of the attacks (Which was fine since I did all the healing). Since it was such a cake walk, we continued with our conversation between attacks. All of us were having a jolly conversation. All of us were joshing around between attacks. All of us. (I hope I'm not being too subtle here) My point is, I was not the only one cracking jokes and yet she directed the scorn at me.

"PPoe, I know you like to talk but fight some too."

This comment offended me. Greatly. I told her so as well.

"I'm the one keeping ya'll asses alive. Notice how no one has dazed yet."

I'm the one healing their asses, taking most of the hits, AND fighting too and the little bitch is addressing me like I was leeching.  Connie was on my side as well.

"Poe's taking all of the hits. We rarely get attacked since she's aggro."

And when I moved in to attack the werewolf, She got in my face again!.

"PPoe, I know you have high stamina all the time (implying that I never used any because I never did anything) but let the us rest."

If this was said without any previous snide remarks, I would have taken it lightly. It's true that no matter how many times I attack, my stamina rarely goes under 40%. It's true. But to say that I'm not doing anything even though it's MY crew, I'm the leader, that I'm letting everyone else do the dirty work, that was just plain rude.

I was starting to contemplate kicking her from the crew but  figured that would be petty of me; She wasn't leeching and from what I could tell, her attacks did pretty decent damage. I let it slide for the most part but I stopped talking. That is a scary thing, when I stop talking. It's like the calm before a tornado. Like the dramatic pause in a horror movie before the killer finds his victims and hacks everyone's ass up.

We cleared the bottom cave and were moving onto the next one but we had to rebuff. It's universally excepted everywhere that after clearing a room, you rebuff for the next room. And once again, I had slow raging. Cue irritating comments about talking and waiting.

Lizzie-ho:"Can we start already?"

Connie:"You're so impatient"

Me: (in a peacemaker fashion)"Let's all calm down. Liz, we're raging again."

Lizzie-ho: "I can't tell the difference between raging and talking." (ditches the crew)

I was sooooooooo mad. My anger level was over 9000! I mentally called her every bad name I could think of in every language I knew. Ohhhh that bitch was so asking for it. And she's going to get it. She's going to get it worse than anyone else ever again.

Method of demise:

-Gets lost in a tropical rainforest that she was visiting with friends.

-Her friends don't bother looking for her since they were getting annoyed by her.

-After several hours of wandering, she falls into a pit filled with crawling leeches.

-The leeches latch onto her and suck her blood but don't do any damage beyond extreme pain.

-After several days in the leech pit, she dies of starvation

I could probably think of worse if I wasn't already bored with typing this post.

~Poe

Hey you! No, not YOU, him. Shut up, I'm not talking to you! Part 2

 This one is going to be shorter partially because I was dozing off when this guy came and partially because.....well. I'm lazy. One update a day is already a stretch for the procrastinator in me.

No lengthy descriptions this time, because he didn't really make me mad more than he irritated me. Connie and Sasha had already left so I had no one to screw around with anymore and then comes this little punk that keeps asking what he needs while we're trying to figure it out for him. We're actually helping him and he's still acting like a fag.

Just shut up and it'll go faster, man. Srsly.

Method of demise:

-Kicked off of Gaia for being an all around pain in the arse.

-Kicked out of school/college/work for same reason above.

-Assaulted by a hobo desperate for a drink and a smoke.

-Shanked by some punk kid running away from home.

-Left in ditch by same kid as above.

And I never want to see you or your name in my general vicinity ever again. Ever.

~Peo
Darn it!
Poe

Hey you! No, not YOU, him. Shut up, I'm not talking to you! Part 1

*Sigh* Where do I begin? How would anyone begin? How do I begin to explain just the first part of this steaming pile of unadulterated, hardcore FAIL?

I'll begin at the beginning.

I logged into Gaia, updated my avatar into my cutest outfit (that also had a cow plushie ;P Connie, Sasha, hold back those tears of mirth), and chatted up Connie about starting a crew.

Connie was just ditching some idiotic crew (which she should really post about since I feel like I'm doing all the work. *nudgenudge winkwink coughcough* AM I BEING TOO SUBTLE??), and we thought that surely we could round up a group of non-n00bs from our stock of pwn-some friends. And we were right. At least to a point.

Sasha was there at the gate, which was a relief since it's easier to crew with three people already in the group. I dunno why but two just doesn't get anyone motivated. Anyways, after Sasha got in, we almost had to beat the rest off with a stick.

Me: "DMS 3 spots. No N00bs."

All the rest of the players in the area: "ME! CREW ME! No, crew meeehh. Oh, Poe, plzzz add me."

And I was like "Oh hewlz naww. Bishes back up; I distinctly remember saying no n00bers."

I ended up crewing two people that were okay and then.......him. I take all the blame for recruiting him, of course; I should have done some screen testings, CAT scans, ink-blot tests, and an actual conversation first. But I didn't. And I plagued us with him.

Takeda Ninja.

I'm not sure if that's exactly how he formatted his username but that is exactly how you say it. And I really should have known. It really was an oversight. Any loser that has the word "ninja" in his or her name is a fapping otaku weeabo idiot. And that's would've been perfectly fine if he wasn't also a fapping otaku weebo idiot that can't read or follow obvious instructions.

Jesus H. Christ taking body shots off of Mary Magdalene in a bar on Sunday, it's not like we were typing in Sanskrit! I had Sasha doing the buff assigns (since buff assign is one of the many things that I fap up epically every-time I try. Like frying fish and riding a bike.) and the moment she got to Takeda Ninja, it was like a deaf person in Russia trying to communicate to a blind person in Where-the-heck-istan through Native American smoke signals.

(approximately the same spelling errors as the original for maximum hilarity)

Sasha: "I see you still have the same crappy buffs you always have on. : / "

Takeda: "Oh, right. I'm sorry. Wat should I get."

Sasha: "(Insert buffs that I can't remember)"

Takeda: "OK" *doesn't go to null to change rings*

Sasha: "Go change your buffs!"

Takeda: "Yes. buffs. I have Iron and Dense."

Sasha: "I told you to change those already. Go change them. We already have those."

Takeda: "OK." *doesn't even move*

Sasha: *headdesks repeatedly* "If I had lead I would kick you right now."

Takeda: "Sorry. Wat buffs." *doesn't go anywhere*

Me: "Sasha I've given you the crown lol"

You get the gist of it. I'm sure Sasha was inventing creative ways to flay him alive but if she was, she didn't share with me.

Takeda Ninja. Drop dead. Please. Pretty please. Heck, you don't even have to make it pretty, just die.

Method of demise:

- Internet virus somehow mutates the werewolves of DMS into real creatures that force themselves through his computer to shred him to pieces.

-His body is then ravaged by aforementioned werewolves that also happen to be into homohomo buttsecks.

-His mother finds his body and is so disgusted that she saves him further humiliation by setting him and his computer on fire.

The End. Enjoy your afterlife, moron. Come back as a cockroach and fulfill your true calling.

~Pie
Poe

(oooohhhh this one was really mean...)

The First to Die

Since I spent some time making the blog, I actually don't remember the names of the chicks that inspired us to make this DeathNote in the first place. One was something like demon-hostess-cereal-wife (IDK for realz), another was something like titty-bopper4311. Maybe I should get Connie in to edit the names....

In any case, they need to go die in a ditch. There were at least four of them and I want them dead like this:

-Dropped in vat of boiling acid
-Given paper-cuts all over their nasty faces
-Rolled around in lye
-Held up to a mirror to watch and the acid and lye melt their faces off
-And have pictures taken and posted on their facebooks

I am a vindictive mother-fluffer.

~Poe

Rage Quit

Connie, Kiyo, and I are members of Gaiaonline; that's where we met. We like playing the MMO available call zOMG! and really hate it when we're trying to form up a team but all the other players around us are, to use the over-used internet term, n00bs.

Ah, yes. N00bs. The bane of anyone's existence when they are just trying to play a stinkin' game. Just one little game. You go in, prep up so you don' get killed off instantly, kill some friggin' monsters, and get the hell out. HOW HARD IS THAT? How fucking hard is it to follow the leader's instructions and not be a pain in the ass?

Connie and myself have rage-quit at least twice already today and as I type this, she is trying to get a crew up yet again. After the first two times, after I held myself back from stabbing everything in sight with a kitchen knife, and setting fire to my desk, we agreed that making an online Deathnote would be psychologically soothing.

So here it is, the first post of our hit-list. This is going to be an on-going list of people that severely tick us off and the descriptions of how we want them to die. If you're not into rage, mass homicide, suicidal urges, MMOs, internet slang, or angry girls, GTFO now 'cause we sure are not going to stop for you.

~Poe